Before I had children, I considered myself intelligent, sharp, easily able to notice details, find solutions to problems and remember the names of my friends. Since I have birthed 2 children, and it’s only gotten worse with the second, I know nothing. I can’t remember what day is it, I can’t remember if I ate breakfast today, or that I might need to cook dinner tonight for my family. If you are my friend and I have forgotten your name, I am sorry, because apparently my brain has decided that is not important information at this time in my life. Birthdays? No way, people don’t have birthdays, that is hilarious, and definitely not something my brain would ever remember.
The week before Christmas, I decided to make cookies for, like, every person that I know. All the neighbors, all friends and relatives nearby. I decided I would quadruple the recipe and attempt to smash 4 times the ingredients into my mixer, because that was normal. Needless to say, half of the batter was mixed in the bowl and the other half oozed out over the side and made Eva laugh hysterically. I had the normal response, cry and then attempt to take turns mixing ¼ of the explosion and then stirring it all together by hand. Yum.
I also made some homemade skin lotions for gifts this Christmas and I printed a nice label to put on the tins. I forgot to list one key ingredient and I wrote the wrong year on the expiration date. Who cares! I’m done wasting labels! No one will notice that it supposedly expired 6 months ago! And if they do, I won’t care or even remember! So, if you get one from me, you’ll know how much anxiety and forgetfulness went into making it. Prior to children, I never would have made mistakes like this. Typos? Forgotten words in writing? Never! I handed out some to some ladies at our church, and I tried to give one to a lady twice because I didn’t remember that I had just given her one 5 minutes ago. Yes, it’s that bad.
I used to love to cook and try new recipes. Now we eat eggs for dinner a lot. Oh, we already ate scrambled eggs 3 times this week? Well, I don’t remember anything about that, so it doesn’t count!
Tell me it gets better and the brain does eventually return to its prior state of health. It’s possible I had this same problem after having Eva and it got better, but clearly, I don’t remember that transition.
I love my children dearly, but I really miss my mind.